ALL TARTED UP

"Better hide those dog biscuits if you're comin' home pissed, ya fat cow," said Carol, Shirley's older, fatter sister. 'You'll never get one o' they Frenchies in your bed if your breath smells like Gemma's."

"What're you wearin' tonight?" asked Shirley, changing the subject before the whole Good Boy Choco Drop episode could be re -hashed.

"Ah think ah' m gonny wear ma new jeans wi' ma red shiny blouse. What aboot you? Ah hope you're no wearin' they beige leggi n' s - they make yer arse look massive."

"Cheers." Shirley was going to do her best to get off with one of the French rugby team, in their town in the Scottish borders for the weekend.

"Mum, ah' m …

Georgia boys state track finals

Final results of the Georgia High School Association boys state track and field championships at Memorial Stadium.

Class AAAAA

400 meter relay_1, Redan (Travis Benton, Mack Brown, Steve Emere, Justin Sims), 41.49. 2, Marietta (Trey Charles, Woodrow Randall, Brent Phillip, Charles Francois), 41.67. 3, Douglass (Deanundra Dailey, Tommy Gooden, Marchello Sinkfield, Joshuan Gilliam), 41.74. 4, McEachern (Anthony Anderson, Jaron Roberson, Mallery Richardson, William Wynne), 41.83. 5, Shiloh (Reuban Lacy, Eugene Glenn, Nehemyah Price, Brandon Richardson), 43.90. 6, Tift County (Kaream Hess, Henry Green, Jakevian Rhodes, Blake Reddick).

400 dash_1, …

WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH? MAYOR OR THE SUN-TIMES?

Caption …

Career evolution

When my sister called to ask if I'd manage a fitness franchise if she were to buy one, it sounded like an idea that would never come to fruition. As an administrative dietitian in need of more work, and never one to turn down a challenge, I responded, "Sure". Our franchise, Curves for Women - Ladner, BC, has been running successfully since September 2002.

I have worked in many aspects of dietetics, from running a food and nutrition department in a large teaching hospital to community nutritionist in a northern BC community. Running Curves for Women has been one of the most rewarding experiences yet! I've had to resurrect things from my years at University of Guelph's Institutional …

Jones' OT goal lifts Avs over Maple Leafs 3-2

TORONTO (AP) — David Jones scored 1:11 into to give the Colorado Avalanche a 3-2 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs on Monday night.

Jones buried the rebound of Kyle Quincey's shot past goalie James Reimer.

Daniel Winnik and …

Ashley Cole gets driving ban for speeding

Chelsea left back Ashley Cole has been banned from driving for four months and fined 1,000 pounds ($1,620; euro1,160) for doing more than twice the speed limit in his Lamborghini.

The defender told police he was being chased by photographers when a speed gun …

Crusing Alaska // Season offers bounty of options

Alaska travelers will have a choice of 21 of the world's largest andgrandest cruise ships this season.The luxury-liner fleet is expected to carry more than 500,000passengers - almost half of the total number of visitors who will beroaming Alaska from early May to mid-September.In addition, small-ship operators will deploy almost three dozenvessels for journeys ranging from weeklong nature cruises tosingle-day sightseeing in whale waters and glacier fiords."It's shaping up to be another excellent season," says KirkLanterman, chairman and chief executive officer of Seattle-basedHolland America Line.Holland America and Princess Cruises - each with six linersscheduled for Alaska …